Also see:
WARNING: This post contains graphic language that some may find offensive or triggering. If that’s you, please do NOT continue.
There are places in this world I’ll never visit. Not because I don’t want to see them. But because they don’t want to see me.
Aside from political or economic strife, the entire globe is available to you if you’re a straight, white, cis man. But being a gay traveler, it isn’t possible.
I know I’m not wanted everywhere in this world. And I won’t go to those places. There’s a reason why
In fact, I’m used to watching my back when I visit different neighborhoods in my own town. I know that stopping at the wrong gas station can get me killed. Or that holding a partner’s hand in some countries can get me thrown in jail for obscenity, or executed.
There are a few things I always think about before I decide to take a trip. As a gay traveler, my biggest goal is to make it back home.
Why is it like this?
Before I sound histrionic for no reason, there are hundreds of thousands of micro-moments that have pounded into me how watched and unwelcome I really am in some places. I’m aware of how hard-won gay rights are, even (especially?) in the US. And how they’re rapidly reverting under the current administration. It’s scary to think we live among people that regard us as sub-human, or not worth the same rights.
If I touch my partner in public, it could be perceived as “shoving my gayness down people’s throats.” At the recent Olympics, gay athletes heard similar:
Speaking about the backlash over the kiss he shared with his boyfriend, actor Matthew Wilkas, before competing inthe men’s ski slopestyle final this year — where he finished in last place — Gus Kenworthy said, “People were like, ‘We get it, we don’t need to see it though. I don’t care what you do behind closed doors, but don’t put it in my face.’ ”
What if this was a guy and a girl? Would it be “normal” then? Photo from Outsports
“And it’s kind of like, well my entire life, in movies and commercials, in public, everywhere, you see straight heterosexual love and that’s completely fine because it’s normal, but us also showing the same type of affection isn’t shoving it in your face, it’s just us existing,” he continued.
I’ve gone to lengths to swat away the hands of men I dated instead of proudly holding hands because of these sentiments. Instead of simply existing, I have to think of “how it looks” or who I’m offending.
It starts at home
This mindset was implanted into me right here at home. And not in rural, conservative places. But cities like New York, Chicago, and New Orleans. Things I’ve had to deal with for being “too gay” in public:
- In Chicago, walking down Halsted Avenue in Boystown, a car full of men threw beer cans at bottles at me. I ran into a shop before bursting into tears and to check if I was bleeding (I was a college student at the time)
- In Brooklyn, someone rolled down their car window to call me a “bitch” as I walked home with 4 bags of groceries
- In New Orleans, I sat with a friend at Cafe Du Monde for coffee. An older woman approached me to say I was “disgusting faggot” and that I was “going to hell” – totally unprompted
- In Manhattan, a man called me a “fucking faggot” and followed me as I exited the subway train and up the MTA stairs. Thank god there were cops at the turnstile, or who knows what would’ve happened. My heart was racing the entire time
Right after this picture was taken, I was informed I’m going to hell for being a disgusting faggot. Cafe Du Monde. New Orleans. November 2017.
You kind of never forget those things. They stay with you.
I always kind of recoil when strangers approach me. Because I never know if it’s going to be supportive or if I’m going to be called a filthy fag again.
It isn’t always negative, though. In New York, I was a little drunk and held my partner’s hand as we walked down 9th Avenue in Chelsea. A girl stopped us to tell us how happy she was for us. It was a nice gesture, to be sure. But also another little reminder that doing something normal was considered an act of defiance that required anonymous support from someone on the street.
I would never dream of going up to a straight couple and gushing about how happy I am to see them holding hands. Because it’s the norm. But my normality, my existence, is considered by some as defiance. It’s a constant reminder of the ongoing struggle.
“Normality” is pervasive
It comes in simpler ways, too. The “little reminders.”
When I get into a cab, the driver will sometimes casually – and innocently – ask me where my girlfriend is. I usually say something like, “Oh, she’s waiting for me at home,” or “This is just a work trip” (even if it’s not). It’s easier to lie than get into an argument, especially when you’re trapped in someone else’s car in an unfamiliar place.
Shopkeepers will ask if I’m shopping for myself or my girlfriend – we have lots of lovely women’s items on sale. I just say thanks and move on.
It’s not for my girlfriend
My distant family members will elbow me and jokingly ask when I’m gonna bring a girl home/settle down/have kids. Sometimes I say, “Never, because I’m gay.” But that’s a whole “thing.” Other times I’ll just shrug and brush it off.
These are all normal things to ask. Nice, even. Because being straight is normal. And 9 times out of 10, the person you ask will have the “right” answer. (Literally. It’s estimated that 1 in 10 people in the US are gay/queer/trans/bi/intersex.)
It’s always sort of disarming to make the mental hurdle and realize they think they’re being nice. And they are. But again, it’s all the little reminders that add up… I don’t have a girlfriend at home… I’m not shopping for my wife… Is something wrong with that?
We take it with us
Every queer, lesbian, gay, bi, or trans person I’ve talked to about this – without exception – has a variation of the same theme: the questions, the reminders, the jarring, random hatred. We all know people who come from less-than-supportive families. Who’ve been beaten. We all know people who have killed themselves, run away from home, or turned to drugs.
We all know people who turn to random, anonymous sex to mask the pain and revel in moments of acceptance, even if it’s dangerous. Even if it ended up killing them.
Another time someone went out of their way to make others feel bad about themselves
All of these reasons are why we need support groups, outreach organizations, resource centers, and safe spaces. Straight people don’t need these things to this degree or magnitude. You won’t get conversion therapy for being straight. But you might get shocked in the head for being gay.
With all of this going on in the background, it’s impossible to NOT take the mindset with you when you travel. Even if you’re going to a well-known “gay” destination, like Paris, Barcelona, or Sydney. Part of you always watches your back.
I’ve had the same “normal” questions in other countries – where’s my girlfriend, would I like a souvenir for my wife, why am I alone – but not to nearly the same extent as within the US. I think it’s because overseas, I’m not a gay man first, but a tourist. An American.
And that brings up more questions like where are you from, how do you like it here, etc. But those other questions are always hanging around. The little reminders.
Places I will never go
For better or worse, I will never visit:
- Bermuda – They banned gay marriage. In February 2018. A month ago. For real???
- Jamaica – Sex between men is illegal, and if you’re targeted for being gay, you won’t be protected by their government. Officials are known to condone and participate in anti-gay violence. Guess I’ll never make it to the Hyatt Ziva Rose Hall in Montego Bay. I hear the food is shitty anyway
- Lithuania – Proposed anti-gay bills recently, including anti-“gay propaganda” legislation that would have banned everything from LGBT groups to Pride parades
- Russia – You have got to be fucking kidding me. I’m sure Moscow is pretty and no doubt has lots of history but… hard pass
- Egypt – Officials have been cracking down extensively on gay men, including raiding bathhouses. And police are known to lure gay men over the internet and on smartphones. Being gay is considered criminal and “debauchery”
- Ghana – Did you know that gays worship Satan? Yeah, me either
- Nigeria – 97 percent of Nigerians believe homosexuality is unacceptable. Same-sex couples can face up to 14 years in prison, and same-sex PDA is illegal
- Senegal – Gay sex is criminalized. There are fines and jail time for “offenders” and over a dozen gay men are in jail for simply being gay
- Sudan – A 2011 report from the State Department said vigilantes routinely attack gay people here. No thanks!
- Uganda – “Kill the Gays” bill, anyone?
- Zimbabwe – Gays are considered “filth” and can be beheaded, with most of the country’s approval
Too risky
So yeah, a lot of Africa is off my radar. Even if it’s “perfectly safe” for visitors, why would I want to reward anti-gay rhetoric with tourist dollars? I also still struggle with much of the Middle East, although I’d love to visit Tel Aviv someday.
In general, eastern Europe can be hit or miss. Caribbean nations like Cuba, Haiti, the Dominican Republic, and even Puerto Rico have a reputation for heteronormative “machismo” attitudes. And gay men do NOT fit into that equation. This bleeds over into parts of Mexico. Although I try to be “not so gay” when I visit there. Sigh.
I watch myself at home, too
I will never forget walking down Cedar Springs Avenue, the epicenter of gay Dallas, with a guy I was dating at the time. He reached for my hand, and as usual, I swatted it away.
“It’s OK,” he said. “We’re safe here. This is the gayborhood.”
“Heh,” I replied. “Yeah, but you never know who’s gonna ride down the street and throw something at you.” An exact experience I had walking in the center of Chicago’s gay epicenter. Nowhere is really safe when you’re gay.
During a road trip through Oklahoma on the way back to Dallas in January 2018, I literally shivered as I got out to fill the tank and saw this:
Yes, I know I am going to hell. I’ve been told that my whole life
There were also lots of gigantic trucks: code for fragile male egos with homophobic tendencies (a whole other problem in this country). I wondered if I looked “too gay.” If I’d get murdered for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. I fueled up as fast as I could and floored it out of there.
Even in Texas, where I live now, I don’t dare venture too far out of Dallas. I still think of Boys Don’t Cry (set in Nebraska), and the brutal murder of Matthew Shepard in Wyoming. I think of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Of all the states that actively fought against gay marriage.
But it’s NOT political. Because all the times I’ve been attacked, called a faggot, or a bitch, or felt the most unsafe were in some of the “bluest” cities in this country: Chicago, New Orleans, and New York. There’s no safe place in public. The best you can hope for is to blend in and not get caught at the wrong moment.
There is so much I don’t know
I hope this comes across and realistic and level-headed, not negative or bitter. Because it’s not like I go out looking for trouble. I try to blend in as much as possible: that’s the key for avoiding a lot of the hate.
But I can’t help but wonder what it’s like for black or Asian or POC travelers, solo women travelers, or those who are handicapped or disabled. The thing with being gay is it’s not always visible. But being black is. Being a woman is. What is it like for them? Have the same things been pounded into them when they’ve gone out in public?
My experiences can’t possibly exist in isolation. And I don’t have the answers
I’ve seen people pull back as I approach them to compliment their outfit, or give directions when I can tell they’re lost. I know it because I do it too: that little moment of “oh god, what do you want from me?” So I let them have it – I have to – then try to be as nice as possible. Not in an over-the-top way. But perhaps in an “extra nice” kind of way. I know I always appreciate the little acts of random kindness. It’s all I can do to give that to others. Instead of “little reminders.”
I have no idea what others have to go through, and I never will. But based on my experiences of traveling while gay, I can imagine some of what they’ve had to put up with. The racial insults. The cat calls. The wondering why the man so much bigger than you is behind you for so long.
I try to erase just a little of that. But it’s so much, and so pervasive. I can’t help but think it’s like saving a grain of sand from the beach. Or throwing a glass of water on a fire. But so be it, if that’s all I can do, then I’ll do it.
Other perspectives and resources
- The 10 Places LGBT Travelers Should Never Visit – Out Traveler
- 76 Crimes – Documenting the 76+ countries with anti-gay laws
- The Complicated Ethics of Traveling While Gay – Slate
- How Gay Travel Is Different (And Why It Matters) – Nomadic Matt / Written by Adam (we’ve collaborated before on Out and Out for an article about Barcelona)
- LGBTI Travel Information – Travel.State.Gov (Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and intersex (LGBTI) travelers face unique challenges when traveling abroad. Laws and attitudes in some countries may affect safety and ease of travel. Legal protections vary from country to country. Many countries do not legally recognize same-sex marriage. More than seventy countries consider consensual same-sex sexual relations a crime, sometimes carrying severe punishment.)
- Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender foreign travel advice – Gov.UK – Sad as it is practical – a must-read
Bottom line
You never know what someone’s going through. Or where they’ve been. What they’re thinking. There’s still a lot of hate in this world. Even if you don’t look for it.
It’s been ground into me that I’m going to hell, I’m filthy, I’m a faggot. That’s all fine. I don’t have to believe it. But it’s sad that there are people who go out of their way to make sure someone else feels bad about something they can’t change.
Traveling while gay means to take all those ideas and experiences and reminders and apply them every time you’re not at home. Travel, in this case, can mean another neighborhood in your own town. Or another country with laws that will NOT protect you.
I truly believe in the power of positivity. But there’s a fine line between “positive thinking” and “delusional.” We still have to operate within the realms of reality. And the reality is there are not-so-nice people out there.
I want to believe people are mostly good. That strangers are friends you haven’t made yet. Et cetera. But part of me will never stop checking to see if I’m being followed. Or wincing a little every time someone asks where my girlfriend is and wouldn’t I like to buy her a nice gift?
Traveling while gay means giving up some parts of the world. No “every country in the world” checklist for me. Large geographic areas to avoid – entire regions.
I have had incredible experiences while traveling. That’s why I keep doing it. It’s just that, as a gay traveler, there’s a whole other narrative playing in my head. All the time. And the only way I know to make it better is to be as nice as I can to others. And to not draw too much attention to myself.
Have you had an experience traveling as a gay person (or POC, woman, disabled person, or human)?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. The comments here are a safe space. You can say whatever you want about me, but I won’t tolerate comments that attack others.
* If you liked this post, consider signing up to receive free blog posts in an RSS reader and you’ll never miss an update!Announcing Points Hub—points, miles, and travel rewards community. Join for just $9/month or $99/year.
BEST Current Credit Card Deals
The responses below are not provided or commissioned by the bank advertiser. Responses have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by the bank advertiser. It is not the bank advertiser's responsibility to ensure all posts and/or questions are answered.
Wow, I cannot believe that people say and do these things(I mean, I can believe it, but it’s horrible). I am so sorry these things happen to you, it makes me feel awful. I hope you still can find enjoyment from travel.
I am a woman who travels solo a lot and I wear a fake ring and have had my share of uncomfortable encounters being undauntedly touched, followed etc. I pull back whenever someone approaches me when I travel. Not because I don’t want to interact but because I have no idea what will happen, and, I also have a list of places I simply will never go to, though, I have had bad things happen to me in unlikely places.
I will say there have been some surprising moments for me as well. I remember in Turkey I had a female tour guide taking me to a lesser-known mosque. We were both fully covered in loose clothing(ankle to elbow with high necks and hair covered) but not the full abayas the women wore in the neighborhood. Some men began yelling at us and my instinct was to run. Some older women, covered except for their eyes began yelling at the men who left. I asked my guide who said the men were calling us sluts for being dressed as such and the older women yelled at the men, telling them to be polite and that they had no business saying those things to young women. I really appreciated that these women were not having it, they told my guide(as I was obviously a tourist) that they wanted me to have a good impression of their country and to not let people like this affect me.
Thank you for sharing this. I want people to talk about these things more.
I appreciate hearing your perspective as a solo female traveler. Keep traveling. It’s still worth it, even though things like this happen sometimes.
<3 XOXO
Wow. What a thoughtful expression of your concerns and experiences. I think sharing your experiences and samples of extreme laws and other risks helps others to understand that your the way that being gay impacts your life and your travel decisions. Thank you.
My wife and I were not able to obtain or renew passports for a period of years between when we changed our names upon entering a civil union and when the Department of State updated its rules to recognize a name change based upon state law, including civil union or domestic partnership. When the rule changed, my wife sent in her renewal application with the civil union certificate as the basis for the name change. We received a letter from the Dept of State saying that they will not issue a passport in the new name because under DOMA, they don’t recognize same-sex marriages. (I wish I had kept that letter, but I was so frustrated that I tore it up). We responded with a copy of the new policy and the rescission of the old policy. The passport with the new name was overnighted. 🙂 They would have recognized a court order for a name change, but I was not willing to do that extra step that straight folks would not have to do, when I had a legal name change via civil union.
My wife is from Jamaica and her cousin married a Nigerian and reared in children there. We have never been to Jamaica or Nigeria, despite repeated family invitations. I have warned the Nigerian family that their laws prohibit supporting LGBTQ folks, so they should not speak of us. I don’t even think my minor children can go, because their passports will include (in the electronic data) the names of their parents (both female names).
On a recent trip returning from South Africa (one of the first countries in the world to recognize same-sex marriages), our Ethiopian Airlines flight from Addis Ababa to Newark stopped for 1 hour in Togo. While I did not do significant research into the laws of that tiny country given the brevity of our stop, I was a little concerned (as I know the how harsh the laws for being or supporting LGBTQ folks are in nearby Nigeria.) When the plane stopped the business class cabin mostly emptied and the crew changed. The head flight attendant introduced herself to my wife and I and the one other person who continued. After speaking to my wife for a few minutes, she asked how we knew each other, were we neighbors? And my wife said, “no, she’s my wife.” (?!?) I was kinda freaked out and held my breath for the next 15 minutes until takeoff. The flight attendant kinda looked at us oddly, but carried on, and provided very nice service. I was pretty surprised that in the brief 1 hour window that we were on the ground in Togo that there was actually an opportunity to come out and that my wife took it.
An insightful post. I’m straight and married, but I don’t put myself in other people’s shoes often enough, apparently. As a side note, the Hyatt Ziva Rose Hall has superb food, but given Jamaica’s anti gay sentiments, I don’t blame you a bit for staying away.
Stay strong friend. We, collectively as humans, are in no place to judge others but rather to bring each up in love. May you find that love and grace in your life each day.
Those beignets looked great.There are morons everywhere. The ones you mentioned in your write-up are serious aholes.
Stay safe.
I also experienced several times in my life that people would yell slurs at me or at my friends when in a group. I usually roll my eyes and ignore the bigot. Seems to be the best course of action.
It never became physical though. Perhaps it helped that I look somewhat “scary” (my mom thinks I look like a criminal on my drivers license).
And just remember there are numerous countries on the planet that are very welcoming to LGBT. Most of Western Europe, Taiwan, Thailand, etc.
I appreciate this article and I am an avid traveler. I’m also a Texan (albeit Houston vs. Dallas :). My partner and I travel together, but more often, I travel alone for work. I agree that it’s a world of a difference when I’m alone vs. when I am with my partner. I’ve been to ‘friendly’ countries like Canada, Netherlands, Austrialia, Uruguay and ‘un-friendly’ ones like Qatar, Malaysia, Turkey, Egypt, and to some extent Singapore and I have to say that the folks in the ‘unfriendly’ countries are much more likely to ask questions and be honest and open then the folks in the ‘friendly’ countries. I think it’s really important for us to tell our story to people. I’m not suggesting you go to Saudi Arabia or Iran and scream in public that you are a big queen, but I’ve had really good discussions with Uber drivers and waiters and hotel clerks and people who have asked in Singapore, China, Malaysia, Qatar.. about being gay and more often than not, the response is ‘wow..I’ve never met a gay person’. Of course, they most certainly have met a gay person but didn’t know it, and I think an important part of traveling is showing folks that at the end of the day, we are more alike than different. That has always been my experience and for the most part, folks agree with that. Maybe it’s because I’m not as feminine as other gay people that I know…and other gay people that they see on TV and the news, but I feel like it’s my duty to show them that we come in all shapes and sizes and types. It doesn’t make me better or worse than anyone else, but it does show folks that even gay people are different. I empathize with your situation and I’m sorry that you have had to deal with hardships. Hang in there and keep traveling.
Great post. Thank you for sharing. This couldn’t have been easy to write… Or to post.
Thanks for the post! I’m a gay Asian-American who was born in, grew up in, and currently lives in Los Angeles. I can’t say that I’ve shared many of your experiences–for the most part my travel has been smooth. The one thing that does cross my mind once in a while is that being HIV positive and on medications, I sometimes wonder if the bottles will be found and I’ll be denied entry. I believe there are quite a few countries that could/would use that to deny me entry if they found out. I’m with you on the no-go list, too. Happy I found your blog you’ve got a new daily reader!
Thanks for the post. I’m glad the trolls have kept quiet about it…your experiences are in need of being heard! I’m an out gay guy and have traveled to several “hostile” countries in support of local LGBT people and their businesses: Egypt, Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, South Africa, Mozambique, Lesotho, Morocco, UAE, Turkey, Cyrpus, Oman and of course Israel. I have been fortunate that everywhere I have visited, the LGBT locals have taken me under their wings and shown me the beauty of their countries and their people. My boyfriend didn’t go with me to about half those places out of fear, but of course I came back with tales of adventure and new friends — and he just shrugs as if it’s a miracle I survived. I don’t have an answer about how I “lucked out” or ended up in some impenetrable bubble. The worst that’s happened to me was being mugged in LA and ditched in England, but as we do (and must), we keep adventuring! PM me if you would like some intel on any of the above countries (esp. Israel).
Let’s get rid of the bigots.
VOTE them OUT!
I’m sorry you’ve had bad experiences. As was surprised you felt threatened by a religious sign on as semi-truck. Jesus loves everyone. Some Christians hate homosexual people. True Christians love everyone so keep that in mind. The problem is that Christians aren’t perfect and they also sin. We all fall short in God’s eye’s that’s why Jesus died for our sins.
As far as people hassling you it can help to limit PDA no matter what sexual orientation. It is unacceptable depending on the culture regardless. Imagine visiting an Amish colony. Some foreign cultures are like this as well.
I enjoy reading your blog btw. I love travel so it is something we have in common.
As a gay man myself I can sympathize with with the terrible situations you’ve been through and can imagine how awful they were. However, I have to wonder why random people would even treat you this way. I have traveled extensively and have never encountered anything like you mention in your posts. I’ve always just been myself and have never been confronted, questioned or attacked. I think many gay men are so feminine and flamboyant, it’s no surprise they attract negative attention. I don’t think its any different than someone who’s dressed like Marylin Manson getting negative attention while out in public. People often fear what is different than them. There’s really no reason why gay men/women should feel like they can’t travel freely. If you know you’re going to a less tolerant area or country then just tone it down to blend in and still have a good time. Problem solved.
I’m a straight man, married with a child and as I was reading this article, I was thinking that even though my wife and I love each other and are married 15 years I can’t remember the last time we walked down a street holding hands other than the first year or two we were dating. I also thought, many of the random people meanness has happened to me as well in my life. I too have had people throw things at me out of car windows, call me faggot, bitch, punk bitch…etc. And I always attributed it to living in a city and being out when people are drunk. I don’t mean to minimize Harlan’s experiences, but I do think alot of what he experiences might be avoidable. Not that you should live your life in fear, but it’s a trade off you have to decide for yourself what you are willing to risk to do certain things, live certain places or be out at certain times.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I try to recognize my privilege in ordinary life as well as when traveling and reading stories like yours really help me keep my life in perspective. I know it probably isn’t easy to write about these things so I wanted you to know you affected at least two people’s lives (mine and my wife’s) by putting this out in the world.
Harlan,
Thanks for sharing your experience. I’ve been reading your blog for a long time. I remembered your posts about MS in NYC (Red Bird). I am so sorry you had to experience such a racists comments during your travels.
Living in NYC as solo mom is so hard. Every single Uber/Lyft/Juno/Yellow cab driver asked me about my marital status. When I am alone I always lie about my marital status. As a hispanic female (I am from Brazil) guys assume so many things about me so I rather say my husband is out of town. But when I am with my 5 year old I feel is morally wrong to lie in front of my son. So I tell them the truth (I am divorced). But I am always afraid to be rude especially because they know where I live. Some guys have no filter (80%). Even asking me to go on a date in front of my son. Off course they get ZERO stars and a written complaint.
I travel a lot with my son and most of time people are surprise 1. I can support myself (no guy paying my bills) 2. I travel only with my son 3. I am not looking for a “new” husband. It is unbelievable how noisy and rude people are.
I love to travel and we have to keep going. As a minority we have to break barriers and not be intimidated.
Keep up the great work.
I’m a gay man living in NYC with my partner of 34 years, and we travel a lot. We’ve been to Egypt and Russia on a mainstream cruise without incident, but I completely understand and appreciate your blog article. (In St. Petersburg, the cruise line provided the option for a private guide and driver to take passengers wherever they wanted to go, and we opted for that; we never perceived any danger. In Egypt, the trinket salesmen were more interested in making a sale than in our sexuality. Istanbul was the only city where we actually felt threatened, and that was because we were not interested in buying a carpet.) To be honest, we’ve been extremely lucky, but we never express PDA in public even in our adopted hometown in the US. Our eyes are always looking around the next corner and behind us because you never know where the next prejudiced person is lurking especially if they perceive that you looked at them crosseyed. That said, we also try to respect the culture we’re visiting even though we may not have the same beliefs. Thank you for posting your list; we will keep it in mind as we plan future travel.
Harlan, dude, I’m sorry that you and others have to go through this type of garbage and have to keep these horrible behaviors in the back of your mind at all times. Such a shame. I’m glad to call you a friend and that you haven’t let ignorant people stop you from having a positive attitude while you explore the world.
My husband and I cruise at least once a year. We have only cruised Royal Caribbean and Celebrity, just because we have really enjoyed our experiences with them. I remember the first cruise being a little on edge when people would inquire if we were brothers, best friends, etc. But that has pretty much subsided, at least while on ship. Each port brings possibilities of situations, that we assess each time. I think the major reason we have ended up cruising so much is the fact we have had no issues on the ships, and are open about who we are. In 2017, we decided to get married, after 15 years of being together, on the Celebrity Equinox before a 12 days cruise before the ship left port. I started to get on edge once again, because the photographer took us around the ship after the ceremony for shots in different backdrops. Apparently word got around that there was a wedding on the ship before people would stop to ask us if we were part of the wedding party or to say congratulations. Even with no one being hateful or negative, I was still cringing inside when the photographer would ask us to kiss in some of the shots. We have just never been PDA people, and so many would stop to watch us. But, in after sight, I am glad he did that, because it helped chip away at that on edge feeling. Over the course of the entire 12 days, people, young & old, we would meet would ask if we were the ones that got married on day 1, and wish us many years of happiness. By the end of the trip my biggest hang up was the US citizens who would ask, so is this legal in your home state? I mean, what rock were they living in during the summer of 2016?!?!?!
Also, I meant to include how much I have enjoyed your blog since finding it. We live in Brandon, MS. What part of MS are you from?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here. I’m from Clarksdale and went to school in Columbus. 🙂
I really appreciate you reading the blog and taking the time to share your experiences. Means a lot.