(This is the last post about Puerto Vallarta, by the dubs.)

Y’all. I did something I’ve never done at a hotel before: paid out-of-pocket for a fancy spa day. I got a body scrub, body wrap, facial, and full-body massage. It was opulent, decadent, and completely amazing.

During our stay at the Hyatt Ziva Puerto Vallarta, my friend and I took a stretching class one morning. On the way, we passed by the spa, mostly out of curiosity.

After touring the facility and taking a look at the spa menu, we decided the couples massage was actually a great value. So we set up the appointment to spend 4 hours in heavenly bliss.

PV PLZ trip report index

• PV PLZ: How I Booked a $2,000+ Mexican Vacation for $90 With Points
• PV PLZ: Review of My Free Stay at the Hyatt Ziva Puerto Vallarta
• PV PLZ: Eating at All the Hyatt Ziva Puerto Vallarta Restaurants
• PV PLZ: Couples Massage at the Hyatt Ziva Puerto Vallarta Spa

Breaking down the spa deal

• Link: Vitamar Spa

I’ve never gotten a spa treatment at a hotel before. I’ve seen the prices and always scoffed at how expensive they were. And thought, “I can get this for so much cheaper at home.”

That’s why I was caught off guard when I broke down the prices for the couples massage treatment. It was actually, dare I say, a pretty good deal.

Most of the prices are inflated, which is to be expected. $50 for a manicure? No way.

But the “Special Reserve – Blue Agave Ritual for Two” caught my eye. For $480, it includes:

• Body wrap
• Body scrub
• Facial
• Full-body massage

And it lasts a full 3 hours. In addition, when you get a spa treatment, you can use the private infinity pool, jetted pools, steam room, and sauna, the entire day of your treatment.

Hmmm… $480 divided by 2 is $240 per person for 4 treatments. Which is $60 per line item, per person. That’s actually… not bad.

Considering I only paid $90 for the entire vacation, including the flights, hotel stay, even the Uber rides to the resort, I’d already saved myself about $2,000 off the retail price.

So $240 for 3+ hours in the spa didn’t sound like a lot, under that lens. We booked it for the following day.

I was beyond excited! I’ve never had so many treatments done at once. And never treated myself to anything this luxurious.

The Hyatt Ziva Puerto Vallarta spa day of my dreamz

We showed up an hour early to sit in the sauna and lay out on the private pool deck. When we checked in, they gave us locker keys and invited us to change into big, comfy robes and slippers to get ready for the treatments.

So we hung out and sat in the sauna until we were both sweating like crazy.

At that point, a quick dip in the pool sounded amazing. At you can’t knock the full view of the Pacific in the background!

A few minutes before our scheduled start time, they came out to show us to our reserved room.

We put on these little paper bikini things and got under our sheets, face down, with our heads supported by cushioned holders.

They knocked and came in. So it began…

The 4 treatments

First up was the body scrub. They spread a rough, granular agave scrub over our limbs, backs, feet, chest… everywhere! (It smelled amazing.) My masseuse rubbed it in, then wiped it off.

At that point, we soaked in a jacuzzi tub with powerful jets to rinse off the scrub and prepare our skin for the wrap. We sat in the jacuzzi for 20 minutes, played with the bubbles, and enjoyed the ocean breeze on the outdoor deck.

Then, we came back in and they covered us with with a thick grayish-green clay for the wrap. Once applied, they wrapped us in plastic and covered us in heated blankets. More like cocoons. I felt like a human taco, personally. Those suckers got blazing hot inside! But it dried out the clay and sucked out all the toxins from our skin.

While in our little tacos, they did the facial.

OMG, they rubbed in so many products. My masseur wiped away the creams, potions, and tinctures so carefully. And even used a humidifier while she worked on my skin.

Once done, we rinsed off the clay and came back for the grand finale: the massage.

Man, she got all up in there. She dug into the knots in my back with her elbows. At one point, I gasped and she asked how the pressure was. I think a tear rolled down my face as I replied, “Great,” with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. Haha, but seriously, I loved it.

They also rubbed down our arms and legs, but the focus was the back. And just like that, it was over. I was literally blissed out of my mind. And laid there for about 10 minutes in a heavenly fog.

Bottom line

• Link: Vitamar Spa

I’ve never had this level of attention or detail, or this many services performed one after the other. I was transported to another plane at the Vitamar Spa.

At one point during the massage, I think I drooled. During the body wrap and facial, I drifted in and out of consciousness. I might’ve even fallen asleep for a brief spell.

The masseurs were thorough, professional, and kind to both of us. In fact, we experienced nothing but gracious hospitality during the entire stay.

This spa day was the cherry on top.

If you stay here, the couples package is actually a pretty good deal. They told me at the desk it’s already discount by nearly 50%. And if you can split it with someone, even better.

After we were done, we had (many) margaritas and a delicious dinner at Casa Grande. I’ll fondly remember this day for a long, long time.

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